Pasta Without the Meatballs

Why aren't we always satisfied with one thing? Is it human nature to take an option whenever it's available? Are we better off comparing one with another?

It's a question I kept asking myself lately.

See, I am going through an emotional hitchhiking to find my way out of my age. At 30 years old, I am supposed to be either married or already dipping one leg into it. I guess that's what's interesting about this emotional pilgrimage. It's that at this age, I have yet to find what I want in my life.

So I keep going back to questions unanswered, hoping that the more I ask, the better I get enlightened with it.

People are often worried about what could have been and what should have been. I do not exclude myself from that. Often, I create my own trap and when I fall into it, I pretend surprised. I keep telling people that a problem is a choice, yet, when I get to test myself with it, I fail to realize or to practice what I preach.

I do not wish to start this blog just to end it with the question. Rather, I wish to find a full stop to it (British eh).

So if I were to answer my own question, we can't be satisfied with just one thing because of frustrations, of too much thinking about what has not happened. Most of the frustrations and fears come from things that never happened. What I fail to realize sometimes is that I should be more afraid of the things that I know rather than the things I know not. When I get to that psychological equilibrium, I know that instead of piling myself up with questions, I'd rather take one small step and try answering them one at a time.

As a start, I guess, this would be commencing a self-internalization.

I keep doubting my capabilities. I rely too much on premonitions and signs. I get affected unnecessarily with the what if's. If I need to truly be enlightened with where I am headed, while trying to know what I want in life, then I need to be more realistic with my goals. To create a balance between the inevitable and the inclination is like trying to eat pasta without any meat on it - it isn't satisfying, but hey, it's the pasta you are after.

Next blog, it's going to be more hard-hitting. For now, one baby step towards slap in the face realization.