Serendipitous

For the nth time, I finished watching Serendipity. I lost count after college. :D

Is it my favorite? One of, not the "est" movie (that would be Reality Bites).

Not to sound melodramatic about it, but it's a movie of a funny sort. I believe the director wanted it to be funnier than it is dramatic. The whole idea of two people finding each other in the end is a funny thought, if you try to look at it. Who cries when such happens? Who falls into tears when the serendipitous, magical moment happens? No one. It's funnier than it is sad.

I had my own share of a serendipity.

In college, I met this girl who became part of my life (conscious state of mind, coz I was merely saying part of my life 'indirectly'). The first time I saw her, I thought I knew her from somewhere or that we met before or we might be distant relatives. To be able to clear myself of those doubts, I researched the whole neighbor and my hometowns just so I don't get into a sinful act with a cousin or a relative. But alas, no traces of my bloodlines with that name attaching itself into my two surnames.

Then I got the chance to tell my feelings to her. Despite plans to explain it to her in the most diplomatic and reasonable way possible, I failed, not just once. Well, five times, to be more exact. It was a rejection after another. I was trying to be the walking "nichi" - what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger, but it was like forcing a gut out of a fish and let it swim again without it. Soon, I was eating my own crap and still unable to find a separation from the fantasy that it has become. I was trying to hold on to something that was not possible, still trying to push it even more. I believed that when I have suffered enough, I needed to be rewarded from it. However, there was more of the struggling than any hint of a happy ending.

Just when I was about to give up, triggered by a break up with a girl I was with for almost four years (though I categorically believe it was never a REBOUND), the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle started to fall into place, one small piece at a time.

To think that almost a decade ago, I was simply playing with a thought, of a fantasy with bittersweet ending.

So when the fantasy suddenly became part of my reality, there was no tearjerker involved. To me, it was a funny thought, something to break a funny bone inside you. To me, what was a fantasy before can only end up being a punchline to it all. And it's the same thing with any human endeavor. To struggle through a certain chapter and come out of it alive and kicking puts a little smile on anyone's face. There is the feeling of relief, of being able to get over the anxiety and curiosity, of how it's supposed to end. While I was trying to dig something out of my cerebral cortex, the song "Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" suddenly plays in Winamp, randomly picking from the playlist. Icing on the cake, I must say. I do not wish to subscribe to sheer coincidence, but it does say something about the situation. When you are happy, you enjoy the music. When you are sad, you understand the lyrics. I picked that one up somewhere, sometime before.

So Serendipity it is to me what Siri is for Iphone. A friendly post-it reminder, helping you stay and track without the need to dig deep into something.